Corvette Chronicles

The Epic Texas Snow Shock

2009-12-26T17:55:00.000-08:00

Note: This story is not for the faint of heart. Note: This is not a story. I have not made up any of this narrative at all. The moral is easy to see: If you love to travel like we do, you must be ready for adventure. This means going through heaven, hell, and in between. Otherwise, just stay home and stay sane!

12:30 pm, December 24, 2009
We left Fry's Electronics store in Dallas. Here, we bought some additional Christmas gifts for everybody. We saw that the snow was getting thicker and falling heavily outside. I asked Joe if we would still go to the mall. He said no because the roads would be bad if we get home later. I was disappointed like a little child but agreed. I really hated driving home when it's getting dark.

On a side note, my phone is dead. It's the latest LG chocolate touchscreen and I have so much respect for its battery life. I would charge it for 15 minutes and it will run perfect for three days, even if I play music in it. Before we left for Dallas, I brought my charger. I did not charge it on the way, nor the night before. Last night I woke up thinking that Joe's indispensable Blackberry should be charged, so I hooked it up. Little did I know that my own phone has powered down. I still have so much respect for LG's phones, even though now it's lifeless in my hands.

1:28 pm
I finished the rest of the book "Our Final Hour" by Martin Ree s. How apt that I was reading this book at a situation like ours. All throughout the trip, I would keep taking notes from the insights and ideas that I get. Is the world really coming to an end? Is this wonderful, cute snowstorm a sign? Not even scientists know.

2:35 pm
It was white out now. I kept on taking pictures along the way, hoping I could show it off saying Dallas had some snow too. I got mad at Joe for hinting I needed to stop taking pictures with his blackberry. I wish my phone was working. And I wish there was a bathroom or a convenience store somewhere. My bladder would burst any minute.

The Durango started halting by the time we drove past Decatur. This was when the roads started to get messed up. We were driving 30 mph. We would go for about 30 meters, stop for 15 minutes, then go again. The dreaded cycle has begun.

3:56 pm
Everytime cars in front would stop, Joe would jump out of the Durango and into the snow storm to fix the windshield wiper. A woman came out to brush the ice off her own windshield. She was furious. There were dogs running about. Stranded cars were everywhere. Some would take the exit only to end up in a slush of snow. A mother crosses to the other side of the median with a baby in her arms and a little boy. The boy fell on the snow. They were running towards the Armadillo Grill, with a breakdown, hoping for some shelter.

Joe had been keeping the heater blasting to defrost the windshield. One of the Durango's wipers had broken off. I offered my ponytail to tie it up, but Anthony's shoelaces were more sturdy.

By now we have driven from 60 mph to 5 mph. The sky was blowing ice like crazy. Have meteorologists lost their hindsight? When I checked the weather forecast yesterday, they said there would be a high chance of rain and some snow. SOME SNOW. Hell, nobody said anything about a snow storm like this! And because rain is so scarce in North Texas, it was almost ridiculous to believe that there will be snow.

When we stopped for a few minutes, we got a chance to pee right in front of our car when the van was far ahead. Yep, we stalled everybody behind us so we could get some bladder relief. The snow was blasting at my ass. I'm telling you, there is no better feeling than snow blasting on your booty while you're in the middle of the road melting the ground slush with your yellow piss.

4:30 pm
Joe was getting so annoyed at me for rolling my side of the window down and trying to get some snow on my face. The heat from the defroster was burning my forehead. I jumped to the backseat and plopped on a makeshift pillow. A box of Cadbury's Fingers cookies was the only food left in the car. There was no water to drink. I started napping at the trunk/backseat.

6:02 pm
We have reached a hill where people apparently took forever to get out of. Our car seemed to suffer the same fate. The jeep behind us helped push our SUV up to get past this cruel hill.

The storm is over, and everything seemed dead.

8:10 pm
I was getting sick of being crunched in the car and wearing my tight jeans. Still fully awake, but no idea how long we will still be staying. We listened to news on the radio but nobody was saying anything about highway 287. We learned that there were several accidents in Fort Worth and some roads in Dallas have been closed.

I also kept taking notes until I got tired. I would be trying to solve a problem in my head while laying down and dreaming. Then get up and write some ideas down.

9:45 pm
I was so upset with Joe for not going to the opposite side of the road like most other drivers did. There was hardly anything coming southbound so people thought it is safe to drive on the wrong side of the road. Really, who cares? Everybody just wants to get home and be safe. Joe said he couldn't figure out how those drivers will be able to get anywhere. I couldn't figure out why he wouldn't try.

I was starting to blame myself for having suggested to go to Dallas before Christmas. But then, I took it back a few days ago and and told Joe we really didn't have to go. But he said he has a couple pinball machine items to deliver in Grapevine. In the end, nobody really knew how bad the snow storm would be.

I thought I would console everybody by turning on my netbook and playing a game of poker or something. Even though my phone is dead, my laptop still has 3 hours and 4o minutes battery life.

11:20 pm
We were running out of gas. Our main concern is where to find a near gas station where we could refill. Or else the Durango would die out. We might freeze to death in the car.

Everybody was so tired and the boys had spread open the extra seat in the back of the SUV. Jayson camped out there while I stayed in the middle seat where I could lay down, dirty clothes as a pillow under my head.

12:30 am, December 25, 2009
Moving a few meters, then stopping. We would fall asleep for a few minutes and when we hear a couple cars move, we would snap back and get excited. This kept on until we got tired of getting excited. When Joe said we might stay until midnight on the road, I thought he was just exaggerating. Now, we are still 35 miles to Wichita Falls and still haven't moved a bit. We might just be able to spend Christmas in the car with no food, no water, and no restroom. And God knows until when. It's been 12 hours since we left Fry's in Dallas.

1:15 am
Joe asks me to check out gas stations in Bellevue. I found the number of Allsups in the Blackberry and called them. What a relief that they are open 24 hours, and still have gas. We have reached the part of the road that curves around (one we could see from 2 miles and have only reached after 3 hours). This curve is actually the one that led to the opposite side of the road, which we could have taken earlier. I was like, "If Joe took this road earlier, then we would have been ahead of everyone else now." In this curve, people were struggling to turn because of the snow bank. It took 30 minutes before a couple of vans were able to move through, with the help of some who pushed. God what a disaster.

1:50 am
Past the curve and onto the opposite road leading South, we finally were able to move a little faster (as in 15 mph. Note: we have not driven anything past 5 mph in the last 8 hours were were on the road). We saw two heavenly things: a gas station, and a bunch of traffic enforcers on the side of the road. The gas station is open but surrounding the whole area are about 10 cars that couldn't get off the embankment and were thus trapped. If you were lucky to drive through to get gas, you might just not be when you tried to drive back on the road. So we didn't try to risk filling up our tank.

The traffic enforcers told us that they have closed the Southbound lanes. The road ahead, they said, is also a lot clear than behind us. We drove past a salt truck that laid sideways on the median, like a helpless toy. Now we knew where TXDoT folks were hanging out! We hit a snag about 30 meters past them. When we tried to turn, the Durango wouldn't move. Anthony came out and helped push. Joe was cursing. The car was belching and tires were spinning. Then it budged.

2:00 am
We went steady, doing 15 mph finally. With hardly any gas left, Joe was taking advantage of the momentum of the car. Every 15 minutes he would blast on the heater to warm everybody up. Then turn it off to save gas. We were just coasting on the icy highway. Joe was alert for possible skidding. Our goal this time is to find a gas station.

He asked me to check the Clay County sheriff department phone number. I dialed it again on the Blackberry and Joe asked the personnel for any gas station in Henrietta. There were two that were open 24 hours. Our goal was to reach that exit without killing the car engine. I was up and alert, just like everybody else.

2:25 am
We finally reached the exit in Henrietta, past the one going to the hospital. (There is only one hospital in Henrietta. You actually might wanna call it a one-horse town). Henrietta, to my eyes, became paradise. It was the last place in the world you would want to live in. But tonight, without food, water, restroom, and gas, Henrietta became Eden. We snaked around the road chock full of stranded commercial trucks. About 20 meters down, we spotted a gas station where a couple men were filling up. Yes, they said, it takes debit cards. Woooohooo!

Joe didn't fill up as I would expect him to at a time like this. Six gallons to reach 25 miles, he said, would be more than enough. I guessed we probably would needed more than that, looking at our situation. Maybe I was right.

We took turns peeing on the side of the road, just to relieve our discomfort. Seriously, I know everybody did it. If you didn't, you know you're gonna get sick.

When we left the exit and back on the road, I felt a deep sense of happiness. I was so happy that I started getting tired, like the euphoria you get after a sexual orgasm. So happy that I laid my head on my makeshift pillow, on the middle seat of the Durango, and fell soundly asleep. I forgot all about the discomfort, all about the pain of this whole trip.

3: 40 am
When I woke up, I expected to be at the front door of our house. "Where are we?" I asked everybody. "Are we still on the highway?"

You can tell the frustration in Joe's looks. He had been so patient and hardworking all along. He'd looked at the worst case scenario and accepted it. Now, it's hard to accept the fact that we have moved about 50 meters for the last hour and that's it. I mean, now we have gas and are sooooo ready to go home, why are we still not moving? Apparently, all that euphoria is personal and subjective. The outside world is still a mess. The road is still a mess.

4:10 am
Looking ahead of us, Joe noticed a jackknifed truck up on the bridge. It's clear now that nobody is going anywhere. Either we will spend the night and Christmas day stuck at highway 287 in Henrietta or we will just drive off somewhere, just to get anywhere, out of this road hell.

Joe was still inching forward, just like the rest of the cars behind us. "We were crawling slow like a turtle," I said. "Heck, if we were a turtle, we would already be home by now!" Everybody laughed.

He got so fed up that he revved up the engine and went off road. He crossed to the left, towards the Southbound lane. Now he's driving in the opposite direction of the traffic. Even though it's been closed, there are still one or two cars trying to pass through. And we dodged them so perilously.

He figured if we went just past under the bridge where the jackknifed trucks are, we may get through the East Side safely, towards downtown Wichita Falls, and then drive to Kemp street to get home. So off we went, against the rules (by now nobody really cares, right?). Home finally seems so close.

4:35 am
Joe proved to be a formidable driver. He wrestled his way around the East Side. He kept telling everyone this is where the homies hang out. At four in the morning, he was hoping some of them would be around. We only saw a bum that waved at us while the Durango was skipping across the railroad tracks.

We reached Burnett and 9th Street where a small car was left on a very deep patch of snow. Joe drove around to avoid this car but was stalled in the same patch where this car was stuck. Another situation has begun.

To get out of deep snow or mud, one has to rock the car back and forth. We have tried every trick to get the Durango out of the patch. Joe kept stepping on the gas and reversing in order to wrangle free of this stubborn snow. It was so frustrating. The boys dug the ice off the tire tracks. I tried helping but I slipped on my knees. It was probably 10 degrees out. Every time Joe stepped on the pedal to move the car forward, it would hardly budge. Dig. Move. Dig. Push. Move. We progressed about half a meter and that was it.

If Joe were any other person, we probably would be spending Christmas day in the intersection of Burnett and 9th Street. Did I forget to tell you he is my hero?

Though frustrated, Joe kept on coaxing the Durango to move. Anthony would take the snow off the tracks. I saw that even though we were out of the deep snow, it was so slippery the tires did not have any traction. It was also uphill. The tires just kept on spinning. "Is there any way we can turn to get out of here?" We struggled for almost an hour. We were cold but optimistic.

We were now uphill and got past the STOP sign after so long. To get the Durango to move even further, Anthony had to shovel the snow out of the tires' way while Joe kept on stepping on the gas and reversing. One big heave and finally, finally the Durango was free. We were out of there.

5:36 am
We drove the rest of Kemp Street without a hitch. Except we had to pass a lot of red lights and stop signs in order to get home sooner. Wichita Falls resembled a ghost town. I kept checking the street names. Seymour, Rivercrest, Lansing...Lansing? I screamed and started crying. I never knew how wonderful it is to finally be home.

"Ohhh myyyyy Godddd!!! I cannot believe this!!" It was hard to stop the tears.

We arrived at the frontyard. Everything is covered in snow. The whole scenario would unfold tomorrow. Too tired to even worry, we just brought our bags in the house, turned on the heater, drank some water, made some soup, and curled up in the blankets.

The ordeal is fucking over!

The Bellagio's Secret

2009-12-21T19:28:00.000-08:00

The Bellagio has one secret that only insiders know. It has the tightest slot machines in the entire Las Vegas. If you think about it, the Bellagio and other casinos such as the Wynn has the most expensive hotel rooms and table games in the Sin City. Yet, compared to the Wynn, the Bellagio has installed games which take as much money as they can from unsuspecting players. Of course, I wouldn't know this if I wasn't a victim.

Let's just say my husband and I have been to the Bellagio just about every time we went to Vegas. I must say, in fairness, their poker room was one of the best. Yep, you see it on TV, with all the poker superstars playing amidst a crowd of other guests. Don't kid yourself though. You won't be able to sit in any table and compete against players such as like Doyle Brunson or Phil Somebody. The poker room at the Bellagio has actually one special little room reserved for famous poker players. It's guarded, too. Because the poker room blends with the theme of the Bellagio hotel and resort, you'll feel pretty special playing there.

But once you whip out a hundred dollar bill to play the slots, forget about getting your money back. For the record, I lost my Benjamin in about less than an hour (probably less). And it has happened to me every single time I played there. I know, it seems kind of cheap to worry about it. But even the Wynn has let me win something back. Actually, the Mirage, the New York-New York, Binion's and Fitzgerald's probably have the loosest slots in town.

Superman is alive in Arizona

2009-12-09T20:46:00.000-08:00

Story: A construction worker drives a tractor right next to a ditch. Ditch slopes downward and construction worker keeps driving, minding his own business. Tractor suddenly slides and tumbles down the ditch, pinning the poor guy in the murky water. Only when somebody heard him scream that fire trucks and ambulance arrived. Man was rescued too late and he dies.

Story: A teenage girl goes out with her friends to wall climb by a local city recreation area. Before she does, she buys a metal clip that you use for your I.D. instead of using the recommended equipment for secure rope clamping. The girl uses the metal clip to attach herself to the rope up on the top of the wall, before rappelling. Since the metal clip she used is not meant for wall or rock climbing, she slips and falls 40 feet from the ground. Dead.

Story: Joe and I are driving down on our way to the Lowell Observatory one cold afternoon in Flagstaff, Arizona. A man in black coat walks right smack in the middle of the road. He attempts to stop the traffic and stands in front of our approaching car. He is a hair's width down to getting hit if Joe did not swerve to the right and avoided him. I curse the world for people who think they're Supermen but don't have common sense.

Which of these 3 stories are true? All of them are. This was basically our discussion when we got stuck in I-40 one night in Arizona, waiting for the police to clear out the burning truck from a mile away. Ah, the world would be such a boring place without idiots.

Miss Rapunzel at Kirtland

2009-12-01T18:39:00.000-08:00

I'm apolitical. Frankly, I don't care whether Texas is full of Republicans or whether in New Mexico, liberals are everywhere. I just don't want to be a victim of somebody being a smart ass. It so happened that when Joe took me to Kirtland Air Force Base Exchange (for a surprise?), a certain long haired woman started "expressing herself" regarding an old personnel that was pissing everybody to death. He fell in line to ask about the gift card he would get on a jewelry he bought for me. The moon fell from the sky and all the waters in the earth have dried up, but the old man behind the counter has not done anything. What to do but go elsewhere and gripe?

Joe griped at me. It is a personal grievance against bad customer service at a time when he's supposed to get excited. We were still on the road trip to Vegas. Then Miss Rapunzel behind us muttered that the old man could not read.

How on earth was he employed at the base if he could not read?

Miss Rapunzel then mentioned something more about Obama and so on. Did you figure out her political inclination?

Joe, already pretty irked at this situation, decided to walk off with me towards another cashier. Miss Rapunzel cried "Good luck to you!"

Yeah, I'm happy my husband is a Republican who doesn't meddle with people's lives and tell them what's good or bad.

Miss Rapunzel, you know who you are.

Anyways, Joe gave me a lovely gift despite the shenanigans at Kirtland. I will remember the diamonds and wear it on a really special day in the future.

Nightmare at Tropicana Express

2009-11-10T19:17:00.000-08:00

Don't think I didn't notice. We were thinking of staying somewhere else but Tropicana Express was the only available hotel at Laughlin, Nevada, that gave us a non-smoking , one-bed room for a good figure. I have been there before. But boy, I didn't like the way they treated me there! It was a good thing we only stayed for one night. I think the hotel casino was suffering from a stigma or something. It seemed to me they get in trouble a lot with minors coming in to gamble. I certainly am not a minor. But when I sat down to play slots, the cocktail waitress wanted to check my ID before giving a Long Island iced tea. When I sat down with my husband who was playing some poker game, the dealer told me I'm not allowed to so "beat it". It was some grumpy old man picking on everybody. So I kissed my husband and left to play Palace of Riches somewhere. Not even five minutes I'm almost down to zero, a security personnel approached and asked for my ID. Again. I told him about my sorry plight with all the staff at Tropicana Express, including himself. But of course he was just doing his job.

Sometimes it sucks if you look younger than you are, especially in casinos. I'm petite and almost anyone who meets me who "has to guess my age" thinks I'm 18 or 21. But hey, that's old enough to gamble.

God, Tropicana Express has been quite a nightmare. In the morning though, we got to eat in one of their restaurants. Perhaps a good breakfast will take all the hurt feelings away.

How not to get bored when stuck on I-40 in Arizona

2009-11-10T12:03:00.000-08:00

October 24, 2009. Saturday. Who would have thought a blackberry (a.k.a."dingleberry" according to Joe) would save me from killing myself in the middle of I-40 in Arizona? I really don't think boredom is an issue when you have plenty of stuff to think about anywhere you are in the world. If you're stuck in a black Corvette in a 8 pm interstate traffic jam, bring out your kit and caboodle. In my case, it's not my books. It's my husband's "dingleberry".

You can take your mind off the fact that a mile ahead, there's a burning truck and everybody else can't go anywhere now. All you have to do is whip out that little internet-enabled gadget and find out what's going on. I honestly thought they would report it online but it took me an hour to figure out that information on I-40 in Arizona could not be captured on a traffic webcam. Duh?!

Joe played Texas Holdem on his dingleberry while I painted my nails. Da-dum, dum, dum, dum...da-da-da dum, dum. Still no sign of progress after an hour of waiting. We were cold, hungry, and literally running out of gas. (I'll save this horrible story on the next essay.) The kids on the hatchback in front of us were huddled playing a board game at the back of the car. There was a huge mutt running around. When I finally got down to my little pinkie, engines begun to sputter. Ha!! Finally, finally. Now we're getting somewhere.